It's Complicated :[

I thought I'm mature enough to control my feelings but it wasn't. I'm 18 but far from being a grown-up like everyone else. I wonder when will I start acting like a grown-up. More often than not, I told myself not to be such a crybaby. But again and again I came up with various lame excuses when in truth I'm a crybaby, no doubt. Like everyone else, I laugh when I'm thrilled beyond words, I cry when my emotions ran high. And my  biggest weakness I can never keep my emotions in check. Past few weeks, my life shattered. And I was on the verge of giving up my studies. I'm all alone and felt somewhat lost. I've yet to share this with Yue. Tqah knew about this last Thursday. But I doubt whether she understands how serious this would be.  My father has been suspended from his work as an Executive three weeks ago. A colleague of his accused my father of misusing company's money.  I swear to God my father would never do such a thing. He's been working at that company since he was a 17-year-old boy. He started off as a store worker. Promotions after promotions until he's finally  an Executive. Basically, we aren't able to survive merely on my mom's salary. Too bad. That's explains why I'm so emotional these past few weeks. And why I can't keep my emotions in check during Biology. Yeah, when I cry, I can't stop crying. Darn it! Before I could digest what Hanif whispered to me, my vision turns blur and tears fell from the corner of my eyes despite all the efforts to control it. I have to turn my tear stained face to the side and look through blurred, saline-flooded vision at elsewhere. Why is it that I can be reduced to blubbering messes, while others don’t seem to let out even a sniffle? I was sad that she had to go. It is better to be in chains with friends than to be in garden with strangers. Yes, no? And sometimes I do cry for no particular reason. Weird but it's true. Hell-yeah I'm officially a crybaby. Anyway, I was somewhat embarrassed when my classmates are staring at me. Ugghh. Mind your own frigging business.  You don't have the right to judge me. All you need to do is to make me laugh or console me. Muahaha. I bet people who simply read my blog would think that I'm a needy. Wth. Certainly not. Yes, you are! LOLS, I'm not!

Even though our path may change as life goes along but the bond between friends remains ever strong.

P.S. Adios to all my friends. Muacks. XOXO

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