My Next Step

Oh Boy! Time flies. Form 6 is going to start soon. Well, not much of students nowadays will like to continue their studies in Form 6. They will most probably going to colleges or matriculation. Since I haven’t been offered to study at any public institution till today, I have no other choice but to study Form 6. I’ve heard seniors telling me how hard it was in Form 6. This is why most of them prefer matriculation rather than Form 6. Well then, I guess this will be one of the difficult chapters in my life. I will have to work my ass off this time in order to get scholarships to study at higher institution. I’ll be studying either at Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid or Sin Min High School. I knew from the very day that most of our schoolmates will be placed at Kolej Sultan Abdul Hamid. But deep down in my heart, I’m well aware which school will be the best for me and it will certainly be Sin Min High School. But if I choose to study there, I’ll be all there alone in a new environment. Plus, I’ll be surrounded with students that speak Mandarin most of the time. And I’m not capable to communicate with them in Mandarin. It’s going to take some time for me to socialize with them. Yes indeed, I’ll have difficulty getting accustomed to the new school. It happened to me three months ago. I would say I had the shock of my life. Why? All of sudden I’ve come across Chinese students that speak Mandarin 24/7. I know to some of you this is just a piece of cake. But this is definitely not an easy thing for me. I’m not saying that Mandarin is something strange to me. I often watch Mandarin dramas. But to speak in Mandarin will be a different story. I only have a smattering of Mandarin even though I’m a Chinese girl. Strange to say, I don’t really like Mandarin. And imagine how long I have not been speaking in Mandarin. 

Since my mom enrolled me in Convent, I have not speak Mandarin ever since. Even until I was in secondary school, I’ve come to know quite a number of Chinese students in our school. But because they are the minority at my school, they have to pick up Malay and English instead of speaking their own mother tongue. So you see for all my life I have always been in the majority instead. But three months ago, all of a sudden, I have been forced to be in a minority. Their ability to converse in Mandarin as a Chinese undeniably put me into shame. Worst off, I’m not being accepted there. There’s no denying the fact that I’m lonely sometimes. At that moment, I just realized what Chinese school students have to go through when they were in my school. I reckon I should be like them. If I can’t fight them, join them. Initially, it was dreadfully hard that I was on the verge of giving up. 

But with these few friends who are willing to accept for who I was keep me going all this while. Yeah, I can never imagine how my life at there would be without them. I must have been very lucky if I would say. Since then, my ability to converse in Mandarin improves tremendously. I’ve no longer stutter the moment I speak in Mandarin. Well, right now, I’m proud to say that Mandarin is no longer a hindrance to me. Not for now. But still, if I meet new people, it’ll have to take some time to get me to know them and soon after I can socialize with them easily. Hopefully it does. So, am I still undecided to study at Sin Min High School? I assume that I’m ready for all the challenges ahead of me. Bring it on then. Accordingly, I’ll be there by May. It’s going to be a different year. 

I keep thinking times will never change but when I left Convent last year I knew school will never be the same again without you guys. There will no longer be ‘we’ instead there will you and I in a different tracks. 

Each and every one of us made Form 5’s life awesome. Life at Form 5 will be incomplete without you guys. Will these memories fade when we leave this school? With my fingers crossed, I hope no matter where we’ll going to be we will remember everything we learned in school. And as we go on, I hope you guys will remember all the times we had together. Even if our lives have changed from whatever, we will still be, friends forever. Can we? Okay, party at my house. Will you guys come?

With great reluctance, I'm leaving Convent. With you, juniors, I'm leaving Convent's future: her pride and beauty. Your mission is to make sure it lasts.

Convent, I bid you adieu. Muacks. XOXO