It's Complicated :[

I thought I'm mature enough to control my feelings but it wasn't. I'm 18 but far from being a grown-up like everyone else. I wonder when will I start acting like a grown-up. More often than not, I told myself not to be such a crybaby. But again and again I came up with various lame excuses when in truth I'm a crybaby, no doubt. Like everyone else, I laugh when I'm thrilled beyond words, I cry when my emotions ran high. And my  biggest weakness I can never keep my emotions in check. Past few weeks, my life shattered. And I was on the verge of giving up my studies. I'm all alone and felt somewhat lost. I've yet to share this with Yue. Tqah knew about this last Thursday. But I doubt whether she understands how serious this would be.  My father has been suspended from his work as an Executive three weeks ago. A colleague of his accused my father of misusing company's money.  I swear to God my father would never do such a thing. He's been working at that company since he was a 17-year-old boy. He started off as a store worker. Promotions after promotions until he's finally  an Executive. Basically, we aren't able to survive merely on my mom's salary. Too bad. That's explains why I'm so emotional these past few weeks. And why I can't keep my emotions in check during Biology. Yeah, when I cry, I can't stop crying. Darn it! Before I could digest what Hanif whispered to me, my vision turns blur and tears fell from the corner of my eyes despite all the efforts to control it. I have to turn my tear stained face to the side and look through blurred, saline-flooded vision at elsewhere. Why is it that I can be reduced to blubbering messes, while others don’t seem to let out even a sniffle? I was sad that she had to go. It is better to be in chains with friends than to be in garden with strangers. Yes, no? And sometimes I do cry for no particular reason. Weird but it's true. Hell-yeah I'm officially a crybaby. Anyway, I was somewhat embarrassed when my classmates are staring at me. Ugghh. Mind your own frigging business.  You don't have the right to judge me. All you need to do is to make me laugh or console me. Muahaha. I bet people who simply read my blog would think that I'm a needy. Wth. Certainly not. Yes, you are! LOLS, I'm not!

Even though our path may change as life goes along but the bond between friends remains ever strong.

P.S. Adios to all my friends. Muacks. XOXO

It's Complicated

I wish that I can find a guy friend that can listen and talk to me for long hours. Not he's the one that nudge me and ended chatting with me for few minutes and disappear without saying goodbye. Or I'm the one has to nudge him instead. I'm kinda jealous with tqah who has two superb guy friends whom she calls them little brother. And I know that whenever she's unhappy, they'll be there for her. I'm going through a period of time which is the hardest thing for a 18-year-old girl like me. Not a single friend know about this yet partly because I don't have the courage to bring up this issue in front of my friends. I'm afraid. I can't find anyone to talk to. it's not that I don't have reliable friend. I do have. A few of them. But every time I want to talk to them about my problems, they are either in super happy mood or super sad mood. well, if hey are in super happy mood, it'll be harsh to spoil their current mood. And if they are in super sad mood, it'll be even harsh to make them to listen to me. So what if they are equally happy and sad? It'll end up I'm being a joker to make them super happy. Don't believe that I'm a joker? If you are one of my new friends, I'm a maniac girl. I might not be as hilarious like Yin Joe Lynn, but I'm still a qualified joker in my Form 5's class. Read this. I told you so. LOLS.

I've been thinking of posting a job vacancy for quite some time ago. However, i have financial issues. Wish that I have money to hire someone for this. But, at this moment I can't pay you anything. Who's willing to be my 24-hour listener? Preferably a loyal one who will keep his or her mouth shuts. Anyone? I'll be a loyal listener in return.

Wth. Maybe I should just...

Like Yue's Kiki boy.

Ngehehe :]

gift from Izam

Am I making jealous for owning this Ngehehe zine? Hehe, tqah and fana. I've finally received Izam's zine. Alas. I've been waiting for a week now. Sob sob. Anyway, I'm totally in awe with his zine to the max. Thumbs up to Izam. Also excellent was Friendly Fellow and The Peace Trouble Maker comic which are hilarious with its cheeky character. Ngehehe is simply entertaining. This is his first time attempt on publishing a personal zine, so wish him luck for the next issue. Cheers to him :] You might want to check out his zine here.

20 pages
drawings/vectors/comics
black/white
RM8 per copy, postal included
(for Malaysia only)  

I've found recently that Ngehehe is finally available in Singapore through Mish Mash Mush. It is available for online purchase at Big Cartel for $3.00. According his blog, it's managed by his best friend Noveri Mondey. Woot woot!

Dino BBQ

The design on the packet looks stunning but it doesn't taste good at all. Most probably because it's baked instead of fried. Perhaps baked junk food is more healthy compared to the other alternative. And it tasted weird too. Well, as they said, healthy food doesn't normally taste nice. This is so true. Anyhow, these Mambo baked bread sticks suits the more health conscious type. Certainly not for a junk food junkie like me. Too bad junk food is the devil's spawn and should be avoided at all costs. But the temptation was too much and I succumbed on more junk food on offer at hypermarket. There are times I have boycotted it and times I didn't think that I could live without it! But I believe that junk food is here to stay and I think we all have our favourite cravings and vices!